couple flirting
Image courtesy of www.flickr.com

Most singles still hold true many myths about the time-honored tradition of flirting. Perhaps that’s because flirting is a much broader pursuit than dating. We flirt for various purposes and toward different outcomes, not all of which are romantic or sexual in nature. Are you guilty of believing some of these lies about flirtation?

Flirting Falsehood #1: Sex is the Goal
You’re limiting your power if you only flirt for sexual gain. Flirting gets you noticed and that’s something that works in many arenas, including social and professional ones. Employed correctly, it can get you out of a traffic ticket or score you a round of free drinks. Plus, it’s just plain fun.

Flirting Falsehood #2: Hot People Do It Better
Having supermodel hair to fling dramatically over your shoulder, or smoldering blue eyes to wink suggestively won’t actually improve your flirting technique. In fact, good looking people are often the worse flirts because they never really have to pick up any skills. Wit and personality count more than good looks alone.

Flirting Falsehood #3: You Have To Be Life of the Party
The most successful flirts aren’t the ones dancing on tables, they’re the ones engaged in an intimate, playful conversation with just one person of interest. Your flirting style should match your personality: if you’re shy, don’t think you need to be doing body shots with strangers at the bar for attention. Take a quieter approach.

Flirting Falsehood #4: You Give It Up with Your Wedding Vows
Many a marriage could be improved if both parties reacquainted themselves with the fun of flirting (with each other). Just because you’ve attained coupledom doesn’t mean you have to give up the suggestive eye contact, under-the-table leg rubs and throaty laughter.

Flirting Falsehood #5: It Can’t Be Learned
Like any skill, you can learn the technique. It’s easy enough to catch someone’s eye, smile warmly and say hello, isn’t it? What can be learned – only had or at least convincingly faked-is confidence. You can tell when someone feels good in their skin: good posture, steady eye contact, a firm handshake, a friendly smile. Likewise, insecurity or desperation are evident before you can trot out your wittiest line.